Challenge the Grade

I called my Mom in a panic last evening. I had 15 minutes sans children and I was hoping she could offer some advice for how to handle this phase.  Zachary is making me beyond insane, and every 45 seconds pushes a button that ignites a glaring flame of doubt over my parenting skills.

I have come to accept that at the end of the day, the average grade for my mothering efforts is a B minus.  I’m learning to go easy on myself.  This is huge, given the fact that in high school, if I were to receive a 99 percent on a math test, I would request a meeting with the teacher, so that we could painstakingly go over the problem until we found the error. But I digress. B minus, fine.   Advanced calculus is like simple addition compared to this stuff.

What I am NOT OK with, is a pretty consistent mark of D….days in a row. Come on. Buck up and get your head in the game!

I feel guilt over the lack of time spent with Isabelle due to her brother’s demands, and guilt over the lack of patience and finesse with which I choose to handle her brother’s demands due to her needs of being fed, changed, napped, and maybe, paid a morsel of undivided attention.

So, I called my Mother to see if she had some magical advice for how to handle this tug of war.  Surely she would have some tricks up her sleeve,  she is a mother of 5.

She listened and helped as best she could, but she was distracted.  I could tell. After a few minutes,  she told me that my sister was in town with her husband and children, and they really wanted her to just sit and be with them. They had just sat down to eat, so this really wasn’t a good time.

And there you have it…she has 36 years on me and is still trying to figure it out. It will never feel like there is enough of us to go around.  But we do the best we can. Lord knows, we do the best we can.

I am amending the grade from a D to an A-.  Learning one is not the center of the universe, is after all, one of life’s most crucial lessons.  So, in that case, I am an incredible Mother, and teacher of sacred wisdom!

How can you view your shortcomings as strengths, and up your grade?  Get on it!


9 responses to “Challenge the Grade

  1. Ugh, my mom never listens to me on the phone, and would be offended if she knew I said so. I need to stop being a youngest child on behalf of my son! lol PS Isabelle is going to be soooo resilient. 🙂

  2. Sorry, but you would have to live here again to know even the half of the demands on this end. Yes, you’re right, I guess it never ends. Meanwhile, we just keep trying to get it right.

  3. It is so amazing that we feel this way as mothers! Less then perfect. Life is not perfect and life with children so close in age makes the days interesting and sometimes provokes feelings of doubt! But the truth is nobody has the answers and nobody is perfect or parents the perfect way! you find what works for you and run with it. I find myself doubting whether I am a good parent on most days with a 5 year old, 3 year old and 16 month old! Just remember these kids won’t remember these moments and phases come and go and he is a little boy, they all go through this and with other siblings needing you, they act out and test the waters! take a deep breathe and realize you are an amazing mother and those two are so lucky to have YOU for their mommy!

  4. Em…you’re a fantastic Mother!!! We’re all going through this together and have the same concerns, guilt, and “bad self-grading” as you do. You’re not alone. I LOVE that you’re Mom was distracted and not able to give you undivided atttention because it sounds like that helped you realize the VERY important fact that we’re doing the best we can. And yes, our children are going to turn out just fine!! Love you!! xoxo

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