Adjusting the Meter

It’s been just over two months since our cross-country expedition and our nose dive of faith into an abyss of the unknown. So far, that proverbial net has yet to scoop us up and carry us to solid ground.  Thankfully, there have been little plateaus and ledges to help slow down the fall, but we’re still in the dark as to how this will all play out.

I’m finding it difficult to strike a healthy balance between relishing in the “Now”, which is chock full of lackadaisical weeks of everlasting Family Sundays, and pounding the pavement to find work before it’s too late. I don’t want to focus so obsessively on our lack of income that I miss out on the gift that comes with living in this whimsical family bubble with no deadlines and chaos. Nor do I want to ignorantly float away in it until it smacks with a pop into the floor of our savings, splattering us all like soap onto the street!

After the insanity that ensued from day one of our travels, lasting well into month two of our move, I’m trying to permit myself to take a well deserved reprieve and a slow deep breath.  But, in this economy such allowances and luxuries feel like a gamble. Just how long do we have?  Can we really trust that something will come along?  Faith is a huge topic in our household right now. The problem I have with trusting that all will magically work out, is the fact that MANY good people, with much stronger faith than ours, are out of work and still waiting for that perfect (or just fine for now, and is almost enough to put food on the table) job.

I’ve often been criticized for my “catastrophic thinking” and have been encouraged to draw forth positive events with a positive outlook. I do believe in this to a certain extent, but I also believe in having a plan in place should things not work out in the desired timing. Does this really make me a negative person?  Because, if I may say so, I think it makes me a smart one.   Except that these smarts have yet to come up with this back up plan.

So, I will continue to have faith in things I cannot see, because what choice do I have? But, I will also use my God-given intellect to continue to prepare for an empty bank account. It would seem awfully silly to wake up one morning to our very last 20 dollar bill and think “What happened?! I had no idea that no income would mean the dwindling of our savings?! Where on earth could it have gone?!”

So, if I promise to do it with the most cheerful and positive spin, may I adjust the  meter a tad?    A little less rolling around on the floor with the kids, as delicious as they are, and just a touch more action?   Yes, we have savings. Thank God we have savings. But wouldn’t it be nice to keep it that way?


16 responses to “Adjusting the Meter

  1. There’s a very healthy balance between takIng just anything for fear of not finding the perfect thing, and waiting with no action for the dream gig that the stars align and send you! The thing is that everything always just works out- every single time! If you stay on the path towards your dream job and don’t step off into the weeds where there might be a few small nuggets of gold to get through a few extra days, I believe that only a short distance away, a huge pot of gold is awaiting your arrival… Keep walking…

  2. Dory from Nemo says it best… “just keep swimming…”. Emily, you are a brave woman! And a talented one, something will come your way.

  3. Heather Vincent Larkin

    Wise words, Kassie, wise words. Em, I’ve been mistaken for a pessimist before too–always thinking of the negative. It’s not uncommon for a realist to be mislabeled. From one realist to another, I get it. There is nothing wrong with hoping for the best but planning for the worst. I mean, it DID become cliche to say that for a reason.

    Keep on moving forward, one step at a time lovely. There is a reason you have come on this journey…you’ll get there, right where you are supposed to be.

  4. To be a bit repetitive, how, oh how, did you all become such wise,articulate young women? I love you all so much!
    Mama Sage

  5. Being aware of your resources is responsible – not pessimistic. If you are fortunate enough to put your full efforts into finding what you really want without having to worry about making do right now – embrace that. There is a Buddhist saying – “If you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking.” You said before that your family moved basically to get yourselves facing in the right direction again. Now, keep on walking. But, enjoy the rolling around time, too. That part never seems to last long enough!

  6. Emily,

    You are so on the right track with balancing faith and personal action. You can’t just sit back and expect it to happen but at the same time you can’t stress until it makes you sick. You are so super talented and something WILL come your way. I just got my news today, where I am now going to be part of the production crew for a show called “Excused” on CBS. Came upon this practically the day my unemployment ran out. And there is so much opportunity and networking to be done with this job. I feel like its a brand new start and I am finally excited again. Keep up the good faith, enjoy parts of your day and work hard the other parts. Its all about balance. You have to balance the everyday load to feel balance emotionally, physically and spiritually. If its too weighted on one end, that’s no good. It means you are either living too far in dreamland or on the verge of an ulcer from worrying. Balance sweetie. 🙂

    • Wow!!! First of all….Congrats!!! How exciting! I am overjoyed for you and inspired by you. Great, great news. As for all the other poetic and beautiful things you said….thank you. Balance, balance, balance. xoxo

  7. My life motto has always been “Things will work out in the end.” Whatever happens, when you tell the story 20 years from now, it will have worked out. I think it sounds like you’ve got a great balance between being proactive and doing what you need to do to take care of yourselves and trying to enjoy the moment and take things as they are.

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