I must retract previous allegations against St. Barnabas Hospital in NJ.
I was unfair in my blanket statement concerning the whole establishment.
While I stand by my original assessment of the phlebotomy lab totally sucking, it turns out the Pediatric Emergency Room and it’s staff are all perfectly wonderful.
I had the pleasure of being corrected on the issue this evening while admitting Isabelle into their very kind and capable care with a dislocated elbow.
I do not however plan on writing either a letter of apology or an expression of gratitude.
I feel it is in everyone’s best interest that I shut my mouth for an undetermined period of time.
And possibly relocate my family to a padded room.
Padded for my children’s delicate bones and ligaments, padded for their Father who has thrown out his back lifting little spica man, and padded for their stark- raving, bat-shit crazy Mother.
I will however expect a visit from Child Protective Services sometime within the next 24 hours. Should they not come knocking, I will be disappointed in the system as they are clearly not doing their job.
On another note, before my self-imposed silence,
All those of you who have been hurt either emotionally or physically by yours truly in the last 35 years, perhaps a childish shove on the playground in 1983, a prepubescent roll of the eyes in the early 90’s , anything you can think of,
please let me know how I may pay my debt to you. An email, a phone call, a letter, lunch, perverted sexual favors…anything. Whatever you feel is necessary to lift the curse affecting my family.
A mirror! Maybe I broke a mirror! Which is only good news if the break occurred seven years ago bringing us to the end of our bad luck. Five would still be bad news. Two more years of this is not acceptable.
Think, Emily! Think!
I can recall no broken mirrors.
Back to plan A of paying my debt to society.
Send all grievances along with proposed payment to:
Motherfog Padded Room
Loony Toons Mcgee