It has been nearly a year since I posted this entry. I wanted to post it again not only because I have new readers, but because it’s that time again. My baby will be turning three in three short weeks and we don’t yet have anything planned for his birthday. These things just aren’t in my area of expertise, but seem to be in the “Mommy” job description. He starts school in two weeks and I’m sure he’ll have a handful of new friends to invite. Do I wait until October to throw a party? At this point, I may have to. Thoughts?


I think I have yet to explain the actual title of this blog.  Mother “fog” doesn’t only apply to the flightiness and lack of memory that mothers often joke about, but also to a rather significant haze that many of us feel throughout the first year and beyond.  I have spent some time discussing this with friends of mine.  Some are mothers, some are health care professionals and some are both. I have even gone as far as to discuss it with my own doctors to be sure I am not ignoring signs of something more significant.  The answers I have gotten have been somewhat unanimous.  This is just what should be expected. The first few years of motherhood, women most often find themselves in survival mode, especially once the second child is born so closely on the heels of the first.   Even more…

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13 responses to “

  1. Remember … didn’t you have a quiet family birthday dinner last year? Two or three friends, some bright balloons, a walk to the park hanging on to a colorful knotted rope, a cake and/or ice cream, a little bag of treats or tiny toy favors, and Zachary will talk about his wonderful party for weeks. He’s not graduating or leaving on a world cruise. Who does he (or you) think he is anyway? Just a beautiflul, happy, thinking, growing up little boy. Any party is a party … and talk it up big! Can’t wait to hear about that wonderful event – and if you don’t figure it out until the 19th, that’s OK too – maybe even better because of the wonder you’ll sense in having pulled it off.
    The master of the last minute “anything”

  2. Cake, presents, candles… these are the things my boys talk about. They don’t really mind where or how big the party. They just want cake, presents, and candles 🙂 The pressure to make it perfect comes from us, the moms.

  3. I would say don’t stress but we as mothers do that for just about EVERYTHING! I was lucky, Preston grew up with all carter’s friends and siblings around his age so when he had his 3rd birthday party with carter’s fifth we had all the friends they had always been friends with and a few carter added along the way. as for when Carter was 3, i think i invited the kids from his class that he was close with only since he had just started preschool, and family kids and friends of ours that had kids….
    remember its not an exact science, do whats best for you and your family….but kids do love presents, friends and cake!!!!

    • Thanks, Erica. The more I read these comments and think about it, I’m thinking that a small gathering will be best. without school kids. I have to remember that “one playmate for every year of life” rule. Thanks for the advice!

  4. What does Zachary want? Is it important to him to invite a friend or two, or would he prefer a day planned with a few of his favorite things to do with just mom, dad, and sister? In general, I am more of an intimate gathering type of person so I’ve never planned big parties. Our parties have always been family affairs but that is because we live near grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. By the time we invite them, the party is big enough for my comfort level. We do always let them pick some special activity to do – and as they have gotten older occasionally a friend has been invited along. My advice: plan what will allow you to enjoy and celebrate and focus on Zachary.

    • I may feel differently if we lived really close to family, but mine is a few hours away and asking them to schlep here would be a lot. But maybe we’ll take a trip home one weekend in September. And yes, I’m going to ask Zachary what special thing he would like to do and keep it simple…I think 😉

  5. It’s all up to you, of course , but my approach was to do only as many friends as the age they were turning and I tried not to do school friends. if it feels like a family event, it means more than if it feels like a school event. Go with friends he’s known a long time if you go with any friends at all. And make it really fun with birthday cake for breakfast, birthday cake for lunch, and birthday cake for dinner, and he’ll never even think about presents.

    • I had forgotten about the one kid per year of age rule. I agree that that’s best. If not for Z than certainly for me! And I’ll think about your cake for every meal idea…but have you read what sugar does to my kid? 😉

  6. and please don’t ever do goody bags. the mothers will never forgive you for setting that expectation.

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