‘Twas The Night Before SANDY

The trains have all stopped.
In our houses we wait.
The Mayors have spoken:
“Emergency State”

We’ve bought some soup cans,
And crackers and such
We’ve stocked up on wine
Perhaps just too much.

We’ve diapers galore
And wipes by the case
If your heinie is dirty,
Then you know the place.

We’ve rolled up the rugs
On the basement floor,
In case of a flood,
When the rain starts to pour.

We’re told of these pumps
That drain water on cue.
But our knowledge of sumps
Is much less than of poo.

There is a hole in the floor
With a cord just above.
I guess that could be
This pump people love?

It might just be wise
To remove all the clutter
Stacked up six feet high
On top of that gutter.

If you’re watching the news,
You know that we’re headed
Straight for the apocalypse
Our Mayans have dreaded.

So what if it’s not yet
December twenty-one?
That error is slight
In the work that they’ve  done.

The kids are in bed,
Asleep in their nooks.
The candles are lit.
We’re reading our own books.

Now that was a lie.
There was no better rhyme.
We haven’t read books
Since 2009!

The TV is on.
The power remains.
We’ll soak up what we can
Till Sandy stakes claim.

To all of you others out there hunkered down,
May you stay warm and safe
When she reaches your ground.

May this poem seem just as silly in three days.  Be safe Northeasterners…


19 responses to “‘Twas The Night Before SANDY

  1. Laura Dysarczyk

    Pure genius.

  2. “Now that was a lie.
    There was no better rhyme.
    We haven’t read books
    Since 2009!”
    Oh Emily, you have a way with the pen.

  3. …meaning that was one of my favorite things you’ve ever written.

    • Wow! Now, that is big talk James! Of ALL of the amazingly poetic and profound things? Every last one? hmmm..You just like it because you know that when I lie, I always fess up with seconds. Or stanzas.

  4. Here’s hoping it’s just meteorologist hype…stay warm and be safe!

  5. Pure literary GENIUS! We’re hunkered down up here in New England, too, tho not anticipating much. Stay safe and sound. May your sump pump nevuh runneth ovuh! Love you.

  6. Nice work! Good luck “weathering the storm”. Sounds like it will be quite the mess. Don’t know if I have mentioned I grew up on Long Island and still have lots of family in the area so hoping for their sake and yours that it doesn’t get too rough. Sounds like you have plenty of wine! 🙂 Be safe!

  7. For your sake I hope no one takes you up on your offer to wipe their heinie. Stay safe!

  8. So awesome Em! xoxo Katie

  9. Should have commented yesterday when I could have just focused on how witty the rhyme was. Now, the storm has hit and I am just hoping that all those in the path of the storm can stay as safe as possible. Hope the fun of camping in the basement outlasts the need to be down there.

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