Bop Bust Buzz

Here’s the long-awaited bop verdict, folks. For those of you who don’t know what a “bop” is or why we are awaiting a verdict, read this.

Much to our surprise, taking the bops away from the three-year-old could not have been less of an issue. Aside from engaging us in an admirably well-played, yet futile negotiation, his bedtime was painless and bopless. Although, he did calmly tell us the next morning that he “wished for his bops during the night”, he hasn’t mentioned them again. He actually sleeps more soundly now without the plastic-to-wood clacking sound as they fall from his bed, waking and reminding him of what he now knows, he doesn’t actually need.

Done and done.

His sister, the 22 month old, on the other hand is a different story. After four nights and five days of screaming and crying until we’ve spent an hour and a half rocking her to sleep for both naps and bedtime, we have seen no progress. In fact, the days of late bedtimes and restless naps have taken their toll, and in her exhausted state, it seems to be getting worse rather than better.

We’ve aborted mission.

After an hour of screaming, 17 visits to her room to rock her, rub her back, change her diaper and tell her firmly that it’s time to go to bed, I caved. I ran to the drawer, grabbed her addiction and put it in her hand. She was out before I made it to the door and wasn’t heard from until 6:30 a.m.

In a year, should she not as gracefully accept the bop banishment as her older brother, I will surely admonish myself repeatedly and with great disdain. I invite you to do so as well.

But, here are my questions…

How much damage can be done to her jaw and teeth in the ten minutes a day she uses a pacifier to fall asleep? It falls out within five minutes of her slumber and is lost in the blanket or in between the crib rungs and mattress for the remainder of the night. Is it worth the loss of a much-needed nap and a consistent and peaceful bedtime? Β Is it not just a better idea to wait until the child is old enough to understand (and has already dropped the sacred nap so there is less at stake), as clearly displayed with my son? Or is there some other horrific side effect of which I am not aware?

Honest questions, people. Thoughts are welcome.

Fact Check:

All statements are true, correct and un-fluffed.


22 responses to “Bop Bust Buzz

  1. So to conclude… while she’s a second child, she feels no need to grow up fast and be just like her brother. πŸ™‚ “She was out before I made it to the door” is beautiful!

  2. Should it be that much work when practically everyone ends up wearing braces eventually? Who cares really? I had my blanket that I chewed until I was 12. I’m still bummed that mom took it away…

  3. None of my kids were particularly attached to their Binky (aka Bop) so I am not much help but I thought I would chime in anyway. If it makes her happy and brings her a peaceful sleep what’s the big deal? Think ‘Big Picture’ and then ask yourself, is this really a battle worth fighting right now? Meh, probably not.


  4. Never saw one in school. She will be fine

  5. I fully agree with your resolution. We went paci-free a week after the 3rd birthday, and I saw no reason to do it a day sooner, nor did our pediatrician. My best friend took her daughter’s away at around 2.5 and went through TWO weeks of absolute hell that turned into severe anxiety for her little one– not sleeping, crying all the time, having potty accidents out of the blue and just general freaking out. So, she gave it back. Motherly instinct kicks in and you do what’s best for your child, and family. You’re a good mama.

    • This is very helpful to hear, Lauren! I hadn’t even asked the pediatrician. As it turns out, I was wrong in thinking that Zachary was the only kid in his preschool class still using a pacifier at night. It seems that 3 is a pretty common age for night time use. I didn’t know that. But, I agree totally. It wasn’t just breaking down and giving in that made me give it back to her. I really felt that it wasn’t benefiting her in the slightest. At least not at this time.

  6. I’m not sure that one of those chewed blankets isn’t hiding in some carriage house storage container. Don’t think either of you wants it though. I’ll surely dispose of it at the next purge…..but….. no need to hurry home to hunt!

  7. I had the same experience! My three year old gave it up without a second look back. When Nathan was a year younger, he wouldn’t hear of it. Wait until she is three then approach it again. She will feel bigger (especially because her big brother doesn’t use one) and it will be easier on you guys. She will have the language to communicate instead of screaming. No worries about the teeth… with her already limited use (and I commend you for that) it will be easier for her to give up when it is time… I wouldn’t worry about her teeth. Lauren is right, there is no benefit in continuing her misery without one at this age.

  8. My mantra for things like this (and for the fact that my 5 year old still sleeps in our bed) is she won’t be doing it at 15. It’s just not worth the battle, the heartache for momma and loss of security for the baby (or preschooler). Who made up these silly time frames anyway? Clearly not a sleep deprived parent!

    • That is my favorite mantra yet. I often use “they wont walk down the aisle…” But I like yours. And I wonder too who made up these rules? It’s all a different story when your in the thick of sleep deprivation, isn’t it?

  9. we worried about Carter’s teeth and jaw too, as you know the pacifier pushes them out, but his teeth dont look like they did when he had the “‘binky”, not to say he may never need braces, but these are baby teeth, his jaw is fine and it corrected pretty quick. Don’t stress, she is still young…..and like someone said, she will not bring it to…..glad zachary did GREAT! good job mom!

  10. Of course she will be fine because you are an awesome mom! Think about kids who suck their thumbs to go to sleep well past the age of 2 or 3. You can’t just take their thumbs away from them. She may even surprise you by giving it up spontaneously – on her own terms – before you even contemplate trying to banish it again.

    • Let’s hope for that, Rita. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Actually, it does seem like the major things I have stressed and worried about with these kids (I.E. preschool) have worked themselves out with little to no fuss. Much ado about nothing. πŸ˜‰ fingers crossed this will be added to the list. Either way, we will all be just fine.

  11. Hi Emily, i’m erica’s mom (six days of broadway @ segerstrom) and we used to throw a fistful of pacifiers in her crib at night, always one within reach! She has beautiful (orthodontically enhanced) teeth but I agree, you and your child knows when you’re ready to give up the pacifier. I admire your funny and loving posts about your kids and I think you are doing a wonderful job πŸ™‚

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